being just me

There is a Chinese proverb, "what doesn't kills you makes you stronger." Experiences, the thing which is purely on you own, teaches you some really important lessons of your lifetime.

I consider myself a fortunate kid, with the stable childhood, no restrictions on trying new things and thus full of different experiences, good and bad, both. When I think about experiences I had, till now, I consider the thing with a perspective of other person and try to locate the reason behind the action generated because of it. Often, I found that its the situation, which makes you vulnerable, also in-turn, suggesting you about the weaknesses and even some neglected portions in you, which otherwise, you would have ignored.

Sometime I fills that, there is hardly any celebration for me. Because every-time, I enjoyed something, I paid it back with some setback, major or minor, but it happened very next day. But this doesn't mean that, enjoyment is not for me. There have been days, when I was enjoying the every moment, without looking at its importance or lessons, but I dont consider this a wastage of time, instead, those were days when I was happiest person on the earth. Now I think I know behind everything there is a cost, and if one want to have something, he needs to pay the price, in any possible way. Somehow I think I am getting stronger with it, with every rejection, with every denial and with every ignorance to me.

Will there be any payback time for me, I don't know and I don't care. May be because I don't want to offer then something very valuable, "Experience"

Still, I always think about I missed so many things very badly, like the chances, which was denied because of some small and really worthless issues or even some more events, which are unforgettable, some opportunities for which everyone else envied for and finally some really great time of my life, I spent discovering myself.

The life is only compromise to living, still whatever remains, however improbable but I'm getting ahead of myself...