Friends

"Saale, tu kuch karta nahi hai...", Chins said to Anky, and we all laughed at it. 

This was around 24-25th time, we heard this dialog in last 4 days. This was the last day of us together, at friends marriage, and the time was around 4.00 in the morning. This was certainly not the time to make jokes. But we did.

It has been around one and half year, after college and first time we all were together at one place for Abhi's marriage, for having fun, and for so called 'Reunion'. Everything changed after getting a stamp of MBA. Everyone is now busy with individual career. There have been so many commitments to everyone that we hardly got a time to get together. Finally we got an occasion,  AB's marriage. 

Sweet......Nothing, a photo by Vikram K. on Flickr.

One by one we all joined the celebrations, less of a ritual, more of a fun and recalling the days, we missed so very badly.

It will be a start of new life for Abhi, but for all of us, it was like reincarnating into college life, the countless nights spent in chatting, maggie and coffee. The computer games, the discussion about projects, exams, submissions and growing together as friends and every other thing we enjoyed, we shared and the moments we lived together.


Everyone is well connected with each other by electronic communication, but this was the first occuasion we all are together after college.


In the early morning, we all were waiting for autorikshaw, and may be for that last time that year, the very famous statement cranked on the laughter. But this time there was a tint of pain added to that, because for all of us, tomorrow will be bringing back our duties, routines and every other things which makes our usual life, except THE FRIENDS!

When everything fails, the hope rises again....

we shook the hands towards each other, wishing bon voyage, and with the assurance that,

"It will not be too long for next celebration"

(note - this was a long due post, I wrote last year, but hardly got time to complete it, thus posting it now)
Chins, Anky, AB, Tips, Vaibhs, Vishla, Esha, Mru, Archi, BK, and all others, who made my life special, missing you all...

Fireflies

I was surfing YouTUBE and a video grabbed my attention because of its name. The video was ‘Fireflies’ and singer was ‘Owl City (Adam Young)’. I loved the lyrics, the video and the meaning too.

It starts with

You would not believe your eyes 

If ten million fireflies

Light up the world as I fell asleep

Cause they fill the open air

And leave teardrops everywhere

You'd think me rude 

But I would just stand and stare

I'd like to make myself believe that planet earth turns slowly

It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep

Cause everything is never as it seems

I can say a perfect description for a dream, which is full of good moments.

One can easily relate it to the sequence of life, which could have been filled with teardrops. Good moments are like fireflies, they will look good from the distance, but when you are trying to achieve it, there is hardly any fire remains. Still planet earth turns, slowly.

It so happens sometime, that I think about myself, what I’m doing, how I’m doing and why I’m doing it. Not all things carry proper answers, but not much things remain unanswered. Sometimes I feel that I am running behind fictitious things, which will hardly happen. But on the next moment, I am very sure that, if the decision was incorrect then I would have stumbled in-between as a result. Thus whatever I am doing is correct.

Cause I'd get a thousand hugs

From ten thousand lightning bugs

As they tried to teach me how to dance

A foxtrot above my head

A sock hop beneath my bed

A disco ball is just hanging by a thread

All the things are in place, so does I. and as planet earth turns, slowly, it will take some time for me to get results, get some concrete facts about whatever I am doing.

Leave my door open just a crack 

Cause I feel like such an insomniac 

Why do I tire of counting sheep? 

When I'm far too tired to fall asleep

To ten million fireflies

I'm weird cause I hate goodbyes

I got misty eyes as they said farewell 

But I'll know where several are

If my dreams get real bizarre

Cause I saved a few and I keep them in a jar

“I’m weird cause I hate goodbyes”, This could have been a major reason behind few of the important things, I am doing. For me the definition of success would be

“Loving yourself, loving what I do, how I do and why I’m doing it”

And as I am loving the reason for which I am doing it, I need not to worry about the future. This feeling always motivates me towards my goal.

I'd like to make myself believe that planet earth turns slowly

It’s hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep

Because my dreams are bursting at the seams

Video from YouTUBE

Second thought

"Life never has rewind button", a thought used till flat by many hindi movies. Even we often think, if it was possible to do this, the result might have been better. 

Now a days I am busy like anything, hardly had time to give first thought to most of the things. But on a moment, I was in a position to give second thought about a thing, I preserved in a silent corner of my mind. For a moment, I thought its enough now...'n I am on the verge for second thought.

Every moment, contributed to me, one or the other way. What I am is a collaborative product of sum of all moments, rather what I am not is the direct result of it. Second thought is for looser, who are not satisfied with the situation they are in, though ironically they made themselves into the situation

 Its not a day or an hour, which made us think about our relations, our decisions or our life. Its the whole set of circumstances. If one wants to show affection about a decision, relation or life, this was the moment. In a movie, Matrix, NEO has been asked for two choice, Love or Life. He goes for Love. I think the reason being, Life is not possible without Love. He would have given second thought there, and that would have turned the whole scenario upside down.  Pessimistically, for me, suicide is the way to show your affection toward your life. If one don't have life as he/she expects, he/she has full right to ask for better beginning. But how many of the people think this much before it is a key question.

On the other hand, is it like second thought always gives wrong direction. The answer is 'NO'; atleast for me. The reason being, second thought is always a kind of dreamy creation about better future, built when nothing can realize it. Its like a horizon, which will extent further. 

Looking back is different again, when you are not worried about your previous decisions, then you can enjoy your journey down memory lane. 

"Night is off and there is morning again

All my dreams are gone

Back to life Insane"

Earth DAY...some thoughts

22nd April, celebrated world-wide as International Earth DAY. This year, there were hardly any celebrations in India, as it was not some marketing event, or globally renowned cash flow point like valentines day or friendship day.

For the few people, who atleast cares about there is something called EARTHDAY, it is another warning bell. Yesterday was 40th Earthday, but problems are residing within us for few more decades. When earthday started, there was no word like green movement and hardly anyone knows about global warming. For so many years, an ordinary person like me, was not much acquainted about the words, EL-nino, global warming, greenhouse gases etc. But now the effects are on our doorsteps. This is ARPIL running, and at my place, red-mark of temperature is already above the historic records. Same is the case, almost everywhere. 

World shattered few weeks before by a series of earthquakes, which deserted a small civilization at Haiti, continued the things in Peru and other places. For last two weeks Eyjafjallajokull volcano is controlling, one of  the most happening industry in the world. All around chaos in the Airline industry is affecting the world, education, business and of-course tourism. Still we are interested in building palm island and world island in the sea.

I am not much pessimistic about future, rather I was not; later I quit. This is a safest way to reduce burden from my brain-processor, which is already overclocked and working restlessly. This is a short term measure. Sometimes I feel that, all the cartel together, industries, billionaire, politicians and scientists are fooling  us, with the glowing shiny picture of tomorrow, which will be there but with a heavy cost.

Sometimes I fear, may be the next generation will be the luckiest one, as they will enjoy much more advanced technology, with some last green patches on the earth. Generation next to them, will only find an earth filled up with the machines, dust and some mechanical personalities, which will work for food, pleasure and money. The green plants, might be available in the museums or to be sold with highest cost, with a tag of LIMITED EDITION. Agriculture might become just food generation industry, with controlled environment, genetically modified seeds, chemicals and electronic surveillance. 

                                      

I can recall a Disney PIXAR movie, 'WALL-E', which was a blockbuster last year. There was an incidence about the last human civilian, in the space station, which was periled by formation of new biosphere on the once-upon-a-time abandoned Earth, which was full of dust, metal and plastics. Just because, that will eliminate the need for space station and the economy running on it, will suffer. Exactly the human nature of opposing the change.

Tomorrow if something goes wrong, these cartel members will investing it weatherproof bunkers or ships like noah's ark to save themselves, from the money, which we paid once upon a time, just to have some pleasurable things.

Here we need change. Because we need our Earth. 

Together, what we can do. Just few simple things, can change the world.

1. Reduce the use of plastic, use jute bags or bags made up of cloths.

2. Control the use of vehicles for the small distances or else use a public transport measures.

3. Do not print an email unless it is necessary.

4. Open your windows, there is abundant light available outside. 

5. Evening can be pleasurable without air-conditioner, just take a walk in nearby garden.

6. Plant a tree as a memory of every special moment in the life, if it is not possible to plant, you can sponsor or donate a tree to public garden. 

After so much and so on, our world is still beautiful, lets keep it as it is for the coming generations.

Thinking like a consultant...

My idol, Bill Gates often placed a fact, 'Start Early in your carrier'. I hope its not that late for me to start with. I am now 26 and on the occasion of Hindu New Year, I registered my site, for a consulting service. I was much more skeptical about going directly in to the business, and it claimed almost one year up in my mind to finally settled with this.

As I referred in my post way back, where I compared the way Google, MS, Yahoo etc., we know the stories (just like our local legends) But there are so many other successful names in the industry, like Symantec, Native Instruments, ATARI etc. Hardly anyone knows about how they might have started. Even they would have started with something small, may be like startup company, Originated from concept, Supported by likeminded people, somewhere got the node of business and now they are on top of their chosen field. Its not always luck. Atleast I think so. and Whatever may be the story, finally I am into the business and not following any of these legendary names.

Second question arises is, does working on couple of projects with some name, makes you an entrepreneur??? Tomorrow if someone offers me some catchy salary package, what I'll be doing? Was that would be ignoring myself and my decision or will be rejecting the opportunity of cashing up. Its like either way I am loosing.

Another thing is, the classic management theory (Thanks to the great stream of HR managers), says that, while starting something, your mission, vision and goals should be set. For me the decision was just powered by opportunity. I don't have anything like mission statement or vision. It would be rather, like planning upon that today I'm going to breath these many times. What I know is I can work and I have to work. Till now any mission/vision or goal thing haven't stuck me. It might be necessary for future growth, but on the other hand, Goals should be practicable, achievable and S.M.A.R.T. The contradiction here is how can someone decide upon the goal, without trying it whether is it achievable or practicable. These concepts look good in book and sometimes in interview.

Once I started, I observed some different nature. Some of my friends/relatives/well-wishers are happy to know about, some are skeptical, some are opposing and most of them are clueless. It will be too early to post about my results and analysis. But I'm into serious business is the most important thing.

One more mistake, I did till now was, I labelled myself, that I can just lookout for job or I can do these things, nothing can be done other than that. Year 2009 offered me a platform to build myself, to develop my unsharpened skills and finally to gain confidence. It comes with time.

There is only fact in the world, 'Time is the healer and time goes on....its not gonna wait forever...'

Its the time which will decide, whether I am right or wrong..

Wish me luck

Welcome Change

This is the first post in the year 2010, after a good break of one whole month and getting older by one more year. I have been consistently inconsistent in writing something here, rather getting open up with myself.

More the things change, more they remain same. I felt something like that, when I celebrated my birthday. This time everything was different than last two years, hardly any friend wished me in person. Instead I was at a place where I celebrated most of my birthdays, in company of countless memories and with my own family. One more reason to celebrate this time, I was bearing my all expenses for this birthday. Being independent financially is good feeling and somehow adds to responsibility.

I am not happy with my current position neither I am satisfied with whatever I am doing. But somehow I am happy about somethings are changing, I am making them change. This almost a years break given me so many things. Now I can say that I am no longer fresher. Experiences enriched me, more than anything else. Now I am not afraid of rejections, no fear for failures and neither interested in running behind the success-stories of those who followed the well-laid ways.

Just saw a much discussed movie '3-idiots', which states, 'work for your self, your interests and success will follow you.' Somehow I am realizing that, exactly this is the thing I have followed for last few years and will continue to do so.

Finally this is a war, and we are soldiers. Failures can come for us at any time, in any place. Now consider the alternative. What if I am right? What if tomorrow the war could be over? Isn't that worth fighting for?

Its all about keeping the fire within...let the reason be different every-time.

Welcome CHANGE...

Life like... Dreams

Dream... as far as I believe, everyone encounters with this, quite a lot of times. What really is that? a fictitious world, a dance by residual thoughts, or jus another creativity by brain... I think its a symbolic representation of our character. But when we talk about 'this this thing is my dream' it indicates that the person is synergistic with the concept, plan or idea and ready to perform accordingly.

Sometimes, I thought about life... like bubbles. One appears for few seconds, just followed by second, third... some bubble might remain for longer time... just like dream. Some are floating and few gets the destination.

What is my dream.... It depends... during my childhood, I used to dreamt about having my own car, which later converted into mastering some music, during teenage I was so much fascinated by computers that, working with Microsoft as a job was my dream.

It was, till couple of months before, when I realize that pursuing something impossible is mistake, but pursuing something which is rare, needs a proper planning. Again planning needs ability to prioritize the tasks, which in turn needs time. Time. I am running short of this thing. Now after graduation (engineering by mistake) and Masters degree, now its time to take decisions. Either I have to choose research and stay away from IT industry and my dream forever, or to wait for more restless months expecting un-assured output.

I took the first option, but somehow I felt that, "am I killing my dream?" After about four days of detail thinking, I found the answer within me, "NO". When we call something a dream, we literally mean it. Instead I think, we should target the intention behind that. e.g. my dream, working with Microsoft, it indicates that working with most advanced technologies in IT, to make everyday life simpler and earning some handsome compensation as well. After my decision, I think now it might not be possible to be a part of Microsoft, but still I can do the similar job, may be in some other context.

I can recall a part of very famous poem in the same context...

and you learn to build all your roads on today,
because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans,
and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.

and you learn
that you really can endure
you really are strong
you really do have worth
and you learn
and you learn
with every goodbye, you learn...

I am only this far and only tomorrow leads my way...